Penrod Page 16

  CHAPTER XVI THE NEW STAR

  Sam, Penrod, Herman, and Verman withdrew in considerable state fromnon-paying view, and, repairing to the hay-loft, declared the exhibitionopen to the public. Oral proclamation was made by Sam, and then theloitering multitude was enticed by the seductive strains of a band; thetwo partners performing upon combs and paper, Herman and Verman upon tinpans with sticks.

  The effect was immediate. Visitors appeared upon the stairway and soughtadmission. Herman and Verman took position among the exhibits, nearthe wall; Sam stood at the entrance, officiating as barker andticket-seller; while Penrod, with debonair suavity, acted as curator,master of ceremonies, and lecturer. He greeted the first to enter with acourtly bow. They consisted of Miss Rennsdale and her nursery governess,and they paid spot cash for their admission.

  "Walk in, lay-deeze, walk right in--pray do not obstruck thepassageway," said Penrod, in a remarkable voice. "Pray be seated; thereis room for each and all."

  Miss Rennsdale and governess were followed by Mr. Georgie Bassett andbaby sister (which proves the perfection of Georgie's character) andsix or seven other neighbourhood children--a most satisfactory audience,although, subsequent to Miss Rennsdale and governess, admission waswholly by pin.

  "GEN-til-mun and LAY-deeze," shouted Penrod, "I will first call yourat-tain-shon to our genuine South American dog, part alligator!" Hepointed to the dachshund, and added, in his ordinary tone, "That's him."Straightway reassuming the character of showman, he bellowed: "NEXT,you see Duke, the genuine, full-blooded Indian dog from the far WesternPlains and Rocky Mountains. NEXT, the trained Michigan rats, capturedway up there, and trained to jump and run all around the box at the--atthe--at the slightest PRE-text!" He paused, partly to take breath andpartly to enjoy his own surprised discovery that this phrase was in hisvocabulary.

  "At the slightest PRE-text!" he repeated, and continued, suiting theaction to the word: "I will now hammer upon the box and each and all maysee these genuine full-blooded Michigan rats perform at the slightestPRE-text! There! (That's all they do now, but I and Sam are goin' totrain 'em lots more before this afternoon.) GEN-til-mun and LAY-deeze Iwill kindly now call your at-tain-shon to Sherman, the wild animalfrom Africa, costing the lives of the wild trapper and many of hiscompanions. NEXT, let me kindly interodoos Herman and Verman. Theirfather got mad and stuck his pitchfork right inside of another man,exactly as promised upon the advertisements outside the big tent, andgot put in jail. Look at them well, gen-til-mun and lay-deeze, there isno extra charge, and RE-MEM-BUR you are each and all now looking at twowild, tattooed men which the father of is in jail. Point, Herman. Eachand all will have a chance to see. Point to sumpthing else, Herman.This is the only genuine one-fingered tattooed wild man. Last onthe programme, gen-til-mun and lay-deeze, we have Verman, the savagetattooed wild boy, that can't speak only his native foreign languages.Talk some, Verman."

  Verman obliged and made an instantaneous hit. He was encoredrapturously, again and again; and, thrilling with the unique pleasure ofbeing appreciated and misunderstood at the same time, would have talkedall day but too gladly. Sam Williams, however, with a true showman'sforesight, whispered to Penrod, who rang down on the monologue.

  "GEN-til-mun and LAY-deeze, this closes our pufformance. Pray pass outquietly and with as little jostling as possible. As soon as you are allout there's goin' to be a new pufformance, and each and all are welcomeat the same and simple price of admission. Pray pass out quietly andwith as little jostling as possible. RE-MEM-BUR the price is only onecent, the tenth part of a dime, or twenty pins, no bent ones taken. Praypass out quietly and with as little jostling as possible. The Schofieldand Williams Military Band will play before each pufformance, and eachand all are welcome for the same and simple price of admission. Praypass out quietly and with as little jostling as possible."

  Forthwith, the Schofield and Williams Military Band began a secondoverture, in which something vaguely like a tune was at timesdistinguishable; and all of the first audience returned, most of themhaving occupied the interval in hasty excursions for more pins; MissRennsdale and governess, however, again paying coin of the Republic andreceiving deference and the best seats accordingly. And when a thirdperformance found all of the same inveterate patrons once more crowdingthe auditorium, and seven recruits added, the pleasurable excitement ofthe partners in their venture will be understood by any one who has seena metropolitan manager strolling about the foyer of his theatre someevening during the earlier stages of an assured "phenomenal run."

  From the first, there was no question which feature of the entertainmentwas the attraction extraordinary: Verman--Verman, the savage tattooedwild boy, speaking only his native foreign languages--Verman was atriumph! Beaming, wreathed in smiles, melodious, incredibly fluent,he had but to open his lips and a dead hush fell upon the audience.Breathless, they leaned forward, hanging upon his every semi-syllable,and, when Penrod checked the flow, burst into thunders of applause,which Verman received with happy laughter.

  Alas! he delayed not o'er long to display all the egregiousness of anew star; but for a time there was no caprice of his too eccentric tobe forgiven. During Penrod's lecture upon the other curios, the tattooedwild boy continually stamped his foot, grinned, and gesticulated,tapping his tiny chest, and pointing to himself as it were to say: "Waitfor Me! I am the Big Show." So soon they learn; so soon they learn! And(again alas!) this spoiled darling of public favour, like many another,was fated to know, in good time, the fickleness of that favour.

  But during all the morning performances he was the idol of his audienceand looked it! The climax of his popularity came during the fifthoverture of the Schofield and Williams Military Band, when the musicwas quite drowned in the agitated clamours of Miss Rennsdale, who wasendeavouring to ascend the stairs in spite of the physical dissuasion ofher governess.

  "I WON'T go home to lunch!" screamed Miss Rennsdale, her voiceaccompanied by a sound of ripping. "I WILL hear the tattooed wild boytalk some more! It's lovely--I WILL hear him talk! I WILL! I WILL! Iwant to listen to Verman--I WANT to--I WANT to----"

  Wailing, she was borne away--of her sex not the first to be fascinatedby obscurity, nor the last to champion its eloquence.

  Verman was almost unendurable after this, but, like many, many othermanagers, Schofield and Williams restrained their choler, and evenlaughed fulsomely when their principal attraction essayed the role of acomedian in private, and capered and squawked in sheer, fatuous vanity.

  The first performance of the afternoon rivalled the successes of themorning, and although Miss Rennsdale was detained at home, thus dryingup the single source of cash income developed before lunch, Maurice Levyappeared, escorting Marjorie Jones, and paid coin for two admissions,dropping the money into Sam's hand with a careless--nay, acontemptuous--gesture. At sight of Marjorie, Penrod Schofield flushedunder his new moustache (repainted since noon) and lectured as he hadnever lectured before. A new grace invested his every gesture; a newsonorousness rang in his voice; a simple and manly pomposity markedhis very walk as he passed from curio to curio. And when he fearlesslyhandled the box of rats and hammered upon it with cool insouciance, hebeheld--for the first time in his life--a purl of admiration eddying inMarjorie's lovely eye, a certain softening of that eye. And then Vermanspake and Penrod was forgotten. Marjorie's eye rested upon him no more.

  A heavily equipped chauffeur ascended the stairway, bearing the messagethat Mrs. Levy awaited her son and his lady. Thereupon, having devouredthe last sound permitted (by the managers) to issue from Verman, Mr.Levy and Miss Jones departed to a real matinee at a real theatre, thelimpid eyes of Marjorie looking back softly over her shoulder--but onlyat the tattooed wild boy. Nearly always it is woman who puts the ironyinto life.

  After this, perhaps because of sated curiosity, perhaps on account of apin famine, the attendance began to languish. Only four responded tothe next call of the band; the four dwindled to three; finally theentertainment was given for one blase auditor, and Schof
ield andWilliams looked depressed. Then followed an interval when the bandplayed in vain.

  About three o'clock Schofield and Williams were gloomily discussingvarious unpromising devices for startling the public into a renewal ofinterest, when another patron unexpectedly appeared and paid a cent forhis admission. News of the Big Show and Museum of Curiosities had atlast penetrated the far, cold spaces of interstellar niceness, for thisnew patron consisted of no less than Roderick Magsworth Bitts, Junior,escaped in a white "sailor suit" from the Manor during a period ofsevere maternal and tutorial preoccupation.

  He seated himself without parley, and the pufformance was offered forhis entertainment with admirable conscientiousness. True to the LadyClara caste and training, Roderick's pale, fat face expressed nothingexcept an impervious superiority and, as he sat, cold and unimpressedupon the front bench, like a large, white lump, it must be said thathe made a discouraging audience "to play to." He was not, however,unresponsive--far from it. He offered comment very chilling to the warmgrandiloquence of the orator.

  "That's my uncle Ethelbert's dachshund," he remarked, at the beginningof the lecture. "You better take him back if you don't want to getarrested." And when Penrod, rather uneasily ignoring the interruption,proceeded to the exploitation of the genuine, full-blooded Indian dog,Duke, "Why don't you try to give that old dog away?" asked Roderick."You couldn't sell him."

  "My papa would buy me a lots better 'coon than that," was theinformation volunteered a little later, "only I wouldn't want the nastyold thing."

  Herman of the missing finger obtained no greater indulgence. "Pooh!"said Roderick. "We have two fox-terriers in our stables that took prizesat the kennel show, and their tails were BIT off. There's a man thatalways bites fox-terriers' tails off."

  "Oh, my gosh, what a lie!" exclaimed Sam Williams ignorantly.

  "Go on with the show whether he likes it or not, Penrod. He's paid hismoney."

  Verman, confident in his own singular powers, chuckled openly at thefailure of the other attractions to charm the frosty visitor, and,when his turn came, poured forth a torrent of conversation which wasstraightway damned.

  "Rotten," said Mr. Bitts languidly. "Anybody could talk like that. _I_could do it if I wanted to."

  Verman paused suddenly.

  "YES, you could!" exclaimed Penrod, stung. "Let's hear you do it, then."

  "Yessir!" the other partner shouted. "Let's just hear you DO it!"

  "I said I could if I wanted to," responded Roderick. "I didn't say IWOULD."

  "Yay! Knows he can't!" sneered Sam.

  "I can, too, if I try."

  "Well, let's hear you try!"

  So challenged, the visitor did try, but, in the absence of an impartialjury, his effort was considered so pronounced a failure that he washowled down, derided, and mocked with great clamours.

  "Anyway," said Roderick, when things had quieted down, "if I couldn'tget up a better show than this I'd sell out and leave town."

  Not having enough presence of mind to inquire what he would sell out,his adversaries replied with mere formless yells of scorn.

  "I could get up a better show than this with my left hand," Roderickasserted.

  "Well, what would you have in your ole show?" asked Penrod,condescending to language.

  "That's all right, what I'd HAVE. I'd have enough!"

  "You couldn't get Herman and Verman in your ole show."

  "No, and I wouldn't want 'em, either!"

  "Well, what WOULD you have?" insisted Penrod derisively. "You'd have tohave SUMPTHING--you couldn't be a show yourself!"

  "How do YOU know?" This was but meandering while waiting for ideas, andevoked another yell.

  "You think you could be a show all by yourself?" demanded Penrod.

  "How do YOU know I couldn't?"

  Two white boys and two black boys shrieked their scorn of the boaster.

  "I could, too!" Roderick raised his voice to a sudden howl, obtaining ahearing.

  "Well, why don't you tell us how?"

  "Well, _I_ know HOW, all right," said Roderick. "If anybody asks you,you can just tell him I know HOW, all right."

  "Why, you can't DO anything," Sam began argumentatively. "You talkabout being a show all by yourself; what could you try to do? Show ussumpthing you can do."

  "I didn't say I was going to DO anything," returned the badgered one,still evading.

  "Well, then, how'd you BE a show?" Penrod demanded. "WE got a show here,even if Herman didn't point or Verman didn't talk. Their father stabbeda man with a pitchfork, I guess, didn't he?"

  "How do _I_ know?"

  "Well, I guess he's in jail, ain't he?"

  "Well, what if their father is in jail? I didn't say he wasn't, did I?"

  "Well, YOUR father ain't in jail, is he?"

  "Well, I never said he was, did I?"

  "Well, then," continued Penrod, "how could you be a----" He stoppedabruptly, staring at Roderick, the birth of an idea plainly visible inhis altered expression. He had suddenly remembered his intention toask Roderick Magsworth Bitts, Junior, about Rena Magsworth, and thisrecollection collided in his mind with the irritation produced byRoderick's claiming some mysterious attainment which would warrant hissetting up as a show in his single person. Penrod's whole manner changedinstantly.

  "Roddy," he asked, almost overwhelmed by a prescience of something vastand magnificent, "Roddy, are you any relation of Rena Magsworth?"

  Roderick had never heard of Rena Magsworth, although a concentrationof the sentence yesterday pronounced upon her had burned, black andhorrific, upon the face of every newspaper in the country. He was notallowed to read the journals of the day and his family's indignationover the sacrilegious coincidence of the name had not been expressed inhis presence. But he saw that it was an awesome name to Penrod Schofieldand Samuel Williams. Even Herman and Verman, though lacking manyeducational advantages on account of a long residence in the country,were informed on the subject of Rena Magsworth through hearsay, and theyjoined in the portentous silence.

  "Roddy," repeated Penrod, "honest, is Rena Magsworth some relation ofyours?"

  There is no obsession more dangerous to its victims than a convictionespecially an inherited one--of superiority: this world is so fullof Missourians. And from his earliest years Roderick Magsworth Bitts,Junior, had been trained to believe in the importance of the Magsworthfamily. At every meal he absorbed a sense of Magsworth greatness, andyet, in his infrequent meetings with persons of his own age and sex,he was treated as negligible. Now, dimly, he perceived that there wasa Magsworth claim of some sort which was impressive, even to boys.Magsworth blood was the essential of all true distinction in the world,he knew. Consequently, having been driven into a cul-de-sac, as a resultof flagrant and unfounded boasting, he was ready to take advantage ofwhat appeared to be a triumphal way out.

  "Roddy," said Penrod again, with solemnity, "is Rena Magsworth somerelation of yours?"

  "IS she, Roddy?" asked Sam, almost hoarsely.

  "She's my aunt!" shouted Roddy.

  Silence followed. Sam and Penrod, spellbound, gazed upon RoderickMagsworth Bitts, Junior. So did Herman and Verman. Roddy's staggeringlie had changed the face of things utterly. No one questioned it; no onerealized that it was much too good to be true.

  "Roddy," said Penrod, in a voice tremulous with hope, "Roddy, will youjoin our show?"

  Roddy joined.

  Even he could see that the offer implied his being starred as theparamount attraction of a new order of things. It was obvious that hehad swelled out suddenly, in the estimation of the other boys, to thatimportance which he had been taught to believe his native gift andnatural right. The sensation was pleasant. He had often been treatedwith effusion by grown-up callers and by acquaintances of his mothersand sisters; he had heard ladies speak of him as "charming" and "thatdelightful child," and little girls had sometimes shown him deference,but until this moment no boy had ever allowed him, for one moment, topresume even to equality. Now, in a tri
ce, he was not only admittedto comradeship, but patently valued as something rare and sacred to beacclaimed and pedestalled. In fact, the very first thing that Schofieldand Williams did was to find a box for him to stand upon.

  The misgivings roused in Roderick's bosom by the subsequent activitiesof the firm were not bothersome enough to make him forego his prominenceas Exhibit A. He was not a "quick-minded" boy, and it was long (andmuch happened) before he thoroughly comprehended the causes of his newcelebrity. He had a shadowy feeling that if the affair came to be heardof at home it might not be liked, but, intoxicated by the glamour andbustle which surround a public character, he made no protest. On thecontrary, he entered whole-heartedly into the preparations for thenew show. Assuming, with Sam's assistance, a blue moustache and"side-burns," he helped in the painting of a new poster, which,supplanting the old one on the wall of the stable facing thecross-street, screamed bloody murder at the passers in that ratherpopulous thoroughfare.

  SCHoFiELD & WiLLiAMS NEW BIG SHoW RoDERiCK MAGSWoRTH BiTTS JR ONLY LiViNG NEPHEW oF RENA MAGSWORTH THE FAMOS MUDERESS GoiNG To BE HUNG NEXT JULY KiLED EiGHT PEOPLE PUT ARSiNECK iN THiER MiLK ALSO SHERMAN HERMAN AND VERMAN THE MiCHiGAN RATS DOG PART ALLiGATOR DUKE THE GENUiNE InDiAN DoG ADMISSioN 1 CENT oR 20 PINS SAME AS BEFORE Do NoT MISS THIS CHANSE TO SEE RoDERICK ONLY LiViNG NEPHEW oF RENA MAGSWORTH THE GREAT FAMOS MUDERESS GoiNG To BE HUNG